Do you feel like you have been treading water this year?
I surely feel like that. Lots of solid work and no real progress to show for. I was journaling last night before going to bed and doing a past few months review / past ten years review and I started to see a pattern. I sometimes want change really badly however I do not do what is necessary to make the transition easy and flawless. I seem to paddle upstream and not going to where the Universe is trying to take me. My elbow has been hurting like hell for months now and it just hit me that if I would be rowing against the flow of life that is how it should feel.
I watched the 2016 forecast Youtube video from Doreen Virtue. Apparently the cards showed that 2016 would be intense, a year where peace and action are necessary. If life is a classroom, we are all now taking final exams.
My final exam seems to be about self-acceptance.
No matter what I do, be or have part of me is never satisfied.
I find giving up judging others easier than giving up judging myself. There is so much I would like to change about being me. When I go one layer deeper, I wonder the reason why I want to change who I am. What is the cause of my dissatisfaction? Is my inner critic the critical voice from the society I grew up in or is it a gentle voice gently pushing me to be as good as I can be?
After half a century of conditioning, what is left that is not conditioned?
Do I have überhaupt any original thoughts and or beliefs?
What is left when I quite my mind and go deep inside my inner world?
Peace, harmony, inner connection to something vaster than the little me.
I am now going to meditate on how to get the perfect blend of inner peace and purposeful action.
Please post your comments here below if you also had a challenging year so far