As I sit writing here at 4.20 in the morning, the daylight slowly moving in, I feel worn out and tired. Started writing 4 hours ago and am hitting a brick wall. Maybe I need a break and get my thoughts back. Writing is a strange thing, it can sometimes flow so easily and the next thing it stops and it needs to be given birth to in a painful way. The good thing with writing at night is that there are no interruptions. Every sane person is in bed sleeping. This is going to be another beautiful, lovely day for sure. Nice blue skies as usual and not too hot, not to cold. Just perfect!
I remember that I felt very special and noticed how gorgeous my surroundings were when I first moved to Australia. Coming from a climate where it rains 300 days a year and days often are grey and cloudy, moving to Queensland, the Sunshine State, was an eyeopener. Now gorgeous weather has become the norm for me, and sometimes I forget to notice the beauty. The clear, aquamarine blue of the sky is not so special anymore and I actually feel good when we have some “bad” (rainy) weather as I can then snuggle up on the couch without feeling guilty of staying indoors without being active outside. I was raised that with good weather you have to go outside and enjoy some outdoor activity.
In Belgium people often are grumpy and mumbling about the rain and cold carrying on for weeks at a time. The first year I lived in Australia, when it rained, the whole office would start cheering and everyone was happy to see some raindrops. Those years were known for draught and rain was very scarce until the floods came. During those years of draught cattle were dying in the paddocks, there was no green grass, the water consumption was limited everywhere, like in no washing of cars or watering gardens. I learned to brush my teeth without the tap running, I treated water as liquid gold and even limited showers to 3 minutes.
The first time I heard that so many people in Australia are depressed, I was surprised, as how could one be depressed with all this sunshine? I still don’t know the exact reason for this. I do notice that many are hiding from the sun because of the risk of skin cancer and they prefer fake spray tans instead of going into the sun. I started having skin cancer tests too and a year and a half ago the doctor scared me. He told me he found a very nasty melanoma, which would have to be cut out immediately. He said he had seen several similar cases that week and until the biopsy was done nothing was sure about the nature of the mole. Thankfully he was wrong thinking it was melanoma but he got me thinking. “Oh no, not again!” I can hear you say. (FYI my dairy talks back to me if you haven’t already figured that one out). Do you ever stop thinking and get out of your head and into your body? Not often I admit, I live way too much in my head and not enough in my feelings.
Realising that your days on earth are not going to last forever can be a really good thing. It made me experience what is important and what is not. Even last week when I got upset I immediately thought: “will this matter one year from now?” and realised I would probably not even remember it happened. It made me feel better and more relaxed knowing that all that stuff I fret about is not worth while spending time on. It is better to concentrate on the things that make me feel good and happy.
It is not just thinking positive, it is also FEELING and knowing deep inside that all is well and that nothing can ever go wrong.
your ever fretting and thinking me