AM I GOOD ENOUGH?
Mother’s day reminds me of how we all have certain beliefs that we took over from our mothers. A belief I often see in many people is “I am not good enough”. I wonder where the root of this belief comes from. Is a belief a thought that we keep repeating over and over until it is no longer just a thought but a deeply rooted belief? Is it something we think our mother said to us? Or just once and then we kept repeating inside our head? I find that thinking that we are not good enough eats away at our capacity to enjoy life and to experience excitement.
I can be only that what I am. And let others be that what they are. I realised that many people carry that thought “I am not good enough”. I have seen it embedded in the strongest person. It seems that even if it only happened once in our life time that someone said to us: “you are not good enough”, even if the words were not used literally but somehow we got the feeling of not being good enough, the impact can last a lifetime. It even seems to overwrite the feeling of “I am good enough”. The negative thoughts love to dwell around in my mind while the opposite, positive thoughts only pops up now and again like a small voice in the back of my head. If I compliment myself to loud or approve of myself too much I hear a parental, inner voice say: “now don’t you get a big head and be full of yourself. Be humble!” This keeps me from feeling like the girl in the picture.
I love this picture of the little, happy girl! It is how exited I want to feel every day! I feel like making a poster from this picture with the words: “this is how I feel ever morning”. I want to concentrate on having that feeling of excitement more and more.
How to make sure we don’t loose the ability to get that exited, and not substance induced excitement but the real, “feel it deep down in your gut” kind? The one that makes you want to pee your pants! That could be another title: “when was the last time you were so exited you almost wet your pants?” How do we lose the ability in our life to get this exited? When do we get numb? Is it because we numb our feelings with negative thoughts and food, alcohol, drugs (legal and illegal), addictions and depleting relationships? They all take us away from our natural state of feeling passionate about something. Many of these habits and substances give a weaker promise of exitment and in the end they bring us farther away from the ability to feel the reel depth of our true feelings. We become dull and filled with anxiety waiting for our next fix of our choice. What is your drug? Is it feeling important, spending hours on Facebook or other social media, getting regularly drunk, being obsessed with sex, toxic relationships… we can do all of the above in a healthy way, it is only when we get obsessed and loose our centre that we are compromising our awareness. We came to earth to experience all these differences and the only trick is probably not to get lost in them. Experience the thrill without getting addicted to the next thrill.
That is real mastery. We love to repeat the same thrill over and over again. Often we need to up a dose to get the same experience as our bodies and mind get used to substances and experiences to cause this thrill. Is there a way we can become as innocent as this child again and just experience the thrill without the need to repeat it or reinforce it? Being fully present in the now and let it rip through your whole system. Getting in touch with that what we really are, our true core that is pure undiluted excitement. Live from our highest vibrational point that is not caused by any outside circumstance but that comes completely from within. I think this is similar to what is called the Vortex in the Abraham-Hicks books. If you have never read or listened to any of these tapes I can really recommend them. They inspire me to stay on my path and align with that what is true for me. It is the voice straight from home saying: “we are always good enough, no matter what”. For the rest of this week I want to concentrate on just that : “I am good enough, always”.