Today as I was meditating in nature (nature/forest bathing), I asked for answers. I have been visited at night by a ghost from the past; if you know me you know this is to be taken literally, and no matter how well I talk to other people their spirits mine, especially those who were close to me, are harder to hear.

I decided to do what I tell my clients to do when they get stuck. Take a sip of my own medicine. First thing I met was tremendous resistance. It is so much easier to solve other people their issues than my own, you know. Anyways, I was determined to get some answers to pressing questions, and I kept sitting down on my meditation mat. I sat in the little rain forest next to my office and first worked on releasing the resistance that came up to face what needed to be met. Often the secret is to stay put and now move away until you get where you want to be energetically. It took me almost an hour. I gave all my concerns to the trees and leaves and grass and birds and ants and mosquitos and bees and and and. Each time I brought myself back to conscious awareness of my vibrational level. I practised some EFT if you don’t know what it is sent me a message I will explain or google it, to release the resistance that kept showing up around every corner.
Eventually, I got connected. The trees and plants were my antennae to the vibrational level I go when I connect to spirit. I noticed how this little white flower on top of the grass was feeding a bee. I saw the slow unfolding of ferns. I studied a dead leave that had braille on it, circles and intrinsic patterns. A beauty and regularity in it that serves no purpose but my little appreciation of it. The veil became thinner, and I had access. I started with feeling a feeling of deep sorrow for my past actions. I apologised. I was met with pure love and understanding. I asked to be helped to overcome my present issues that seem to be going round and round. I remembered a former spiritual teacher telling me that a little white flower doesn’t feel unworthy next to a big tree. It is fulfilling its purpose by being what it is, a small white flower that feeds bees. In nature, everything has its purpose, and they don’t compare or feel more important. The fern was not comparing itself to the little white flower. I ate some Rocula that was sitting next to it, and it served its purpose. What if we could see ourselves like that?
Like we are fulfilling our purpose just the way we are?
We don’t need to be taller.
More white.
More green.
Anyway another colour, shape or nature than we are.
We are exactly as we are meant to be.
We are valuable and worthy of our dreams precisely the way we are.
We are part of the whole.
We belong, no matter what.
We are.

I ended with writing heaps of affirmations in my journal about worthiness and deserving.
Such as:
I deserve to be happy.
I am worthy of love.
I am worthy of all my dreams being fulfilled.
I deserve to experience all the good things in life.
I deserve to be wealthy.
I deserve to be fit, toned and healthy.

I would love to hear from you!
Which ones resonate with you most, and what would you add?