When I think about safety I try to see what the opposite of feeling safe is. For me it is fear; when I feel fear I do not feel safe. I experience fear as a big black in the place where my stomach is supposed to be. Where do you experience the feeling of not being safe and subsequently the fear?

Have you noticed there are different types of fear? When I played my first chukka in polo, the fear was almost bigger then me. I felt I was so out of place and out of my mind to be riding a horse at full speed, trying to hit a ball while others were pushing against me with their horse and bumping into my legs. Elbows everywhere and sometimes a knee to lift me out of the saddle or a hook with a mallet avoiding me hitting the ball. Before the bell I would not feel my stomach, it would be one big black hole. Once the couple of minutes a chukka were over I felt on top of the world and wanted to play again. The rush of adrenaline was like a drug running through my veins. There was a totally different type of fear when I was all alone on a plane flying to the other side of world to start a new life. I felt a bit of a hollow pit in the corner of my stomach, not an unpleasant tone. A feeling of eager anticipation, the type you might get swinging on a child’s swing, the fluttering of butterfly wings in your stomach. I was reading Susan Jeffers ‘Feel the fear and Do It Anyway’ and really got what she was talking about.


  • Have you noticed that on one hand you want to feel safe and on the other hand you want some change and adventure in your life to make you feel more alive?
  • Do you notice the difference between a pleasant type of anticipation and debilitating angst?
  • When do we know if the fear is trying to keep us safe and when it is preventing us from live the life we were destined to?
  • Is there such a thing as healthy fear?
  • What does safety mean to you?
  • Where in your life do you have the biggest need for feeling safe?
  • What would you be doing right now if you did not have the need to feel safe?
  • How different would your life look without the need to feel safe?
  • Would you be still working the same job?
  • Living day in and out with the same relationships?
  • Would you change certain situations, people or places?

Overcoming my fears has always rewarded me with feeling on top of the world. With passing the ego by and becoming more aware of my true nature. Deep inside there is a knowing that I am always safe. No matter what happens in the world of bodies, my soul, my inner being, the witness will always be present and unharmed. Did you ever experience that deep knowing?

A couple of my favourite affirmations “All is well in my world” and “Only good can come from this situation” can help you feel safe and protected in situations that might otherwise freak you out. It’s always worth keeping your head cool even when you feel personally attacked, because you will rarely get good results from knee jerk reactions. When we panic and react from that state of mind we lose our clear overview. We let our ego, the little me, take over and do not see what would be the best outcome for all parties involved.

When was the last time you freaked out because you felt threatened, then regretted afterwards how much damage your reactions caused? Have you noticed that if you start breathing faster and shallow the panic becomes worse? Instead, concentrate on your breathing when you start to feel unsafe. Try to keep your breathing slow, and deep all the way into your belly.

You can also view a video I made about feeling fear and the need to feel safe.

Let me know how this is working for you. Don’t forget to sign up for my newsletter so you will be the first to know when we will be hanging out online to talk about how these techniques are working for you and how you can start making your dreams come true and overcome your fears.


Lots of Love